Friends and Family or Family and Friends?

Which is it?  Friends and Family or Family and Friends?  Sometimes they are two distinct groups of people.  Sometimes one is greater or more important or in greater numbers than the other.  But sometimes in our family tree we have a line where the roles of family and friends are blurred.  Sometimes our family and friends are both.

For my maternal grandmother, Clementine (Stenger) Miars this is indeed the case.  She was born in August 1913 on the family farm in Kickapoo, Illinois.  Her immediate family was large with 7 children in all.  But it is her extended family that was very large.  One time I counted and she had over 90 first cousins.  As a point of reference...I have five.  That means both her parents had very large families.  It also means that her second and third cousins numbered in the hundreds.  Many of them lived in Kickapoo just like Clem.

She went to school with her extended family at St Mary's School in Kickappo.  Most of them would have also attended St Mary's Catholic Church with their families.  She grew up not just with her siblings but her extended family in close proximity.  Her siblings and many of her cousins and their families were to be lifelong friends as well.

I recently came across this photo from Clem's "stash of stuff" that I think illustrates this situation very well.

L-R:  Wilma (Schmitt) Johnson, Clementine (Stenger) Miars, Flossie (Gilles) O'Toole, Rose (Stenger) Inskeep, Mary (Stenger) Carman; ca. mid 1930s

L-R:  Wilma (Schmitt) Johnson, Clementine (Stenger) Miars, Flossie (Gilles) O'Toole, Rose (Stenger) Inskeep, Mary (Stenger) Carman

The five women in this photo that I think is from the mid 1930s were all raised together in Kickapoo and attended the same school and church.  Their families were connected by blood in multiple ways.  They played baseball together as kids and young adults.  They were friends and family and also family and friends.  Who's to say which bond was the stronger between them.  The reality is that it changed over the years.

Their family bonds are complex.  Clem, Rose and Mary were sisters.  Wilma was a both a second and third cousin to the Stenger siblings through her parents, Albert and Cecilia (Stenger) Schmitt and Clem's dad, Joseph L Stenger.  Cecilia (Stenger) Schmitt and Joseph L Stenger were 1st cousins.  Albert Schmitt and Joseph L Stenger were 2nd cousins.  (Does your brain hurt yet??)

Flossie (Gilles) O'Toole was a 2nd cousin of the Stenger siblings through their mothers.  To make matters more confusing both Flossie and the Stenger sisters had mothers with the name Lucy.  Flossie's mother is Lucy (Brutcher) Gilles and Clem, Rose and Mary's mother was Lucy (Loescher) Stenger.  The two Lucy's are first cousins.  Lucky for us though I do not think that Wilma and Flossie were related.

But just as importantly, these five young women pictured above were friends and had known each other all of their lives while growing up.  Yet even after they married some of these bonds of friendship were to continue.

Wilma, Flossie and Clem, all found themselves married and living in Brimfield, Illinois during the 1940s and 1950s.  It was not far from Kickapoo.  These three women had children who also went to the same schools and church together and had lots of social activities together.  Their lives continued more as friends and neighbors than anything during this time.  Each of them had a daughter that would be in the same class (1959) at Brimfield High School and would remain close as they married.  It has continued on into the third generation of these three women when some of their grandchildren found themselves in the same class at school and attending the same church in Brimfield in addition to social activities.

Wilma was the first to pass in 1964 as a young grandmother.  Mary Carman was gone in 1973.  Rose, Clem and Flossie lived to be old women into their 90s and beyond.  Clem and Flossie remained good friends and neighbors until Flossie passed in 2005.

I have said this before that Clem kept so much stuff.  At times it is overwhelming how much there is to sort through, identify and preserve.  But it is when I find these gems that I am so grateful that she did. What a blessing this is!  I had no idea growing up that some of my friends were also my cousins and that our grandmothers had been friends  in decades long past. This is truly a great gift to see this photo and reminisce about their lives growing up, as young mothers and now about the connections their grandchildren have made.

The Picture -
The picture above was cropped so that we could see the faces better of these five women.  But here is the uncropped version for more context.

Does anybody know where this was taken or the occasion? What about the guitar that Flossie (Gilles) O'Toole is holding?  Did she play?  Please let me know if you know any more details about this.

The reason I knew who all of the people were in the photo is that somebody had written on the back of the photo who everybody was (Thank you whoever you are!!!!).  Once I read the names and then looked at the faces in the photo again I recognized them all.  All five of them have daughters that today resemble their mothers which made it easier to confirm the names on the back.

Wilma (Schmitt) Johnson, Clementine (Stenger) Miars, Flossie (Gilles) O'Toole, Rose (Stenger) Inskeep, Mary (Stenger) Carman, photo, ca. mid 1930s, location unknown; digital image 2019, from the Clementine (Stenger) Miars collection, original privately held by Jana (Miars) Minor.

Anna Maria (Schmitt) Stenger - 177nd Birthday - 14 October 1842

My great great grandmother, Anna Maria (Schmitt) Stenger is 177 years old today.

Relationship to me: me > mom > Clementine (Stemger) Miars > Joseph L Stenger > Anna Maria <Schmitt> Stenger.

Anna Maria Schmitt was born in Dromersheim, Germany to Jakob and Maria Juliana Pfeifer Schmitt.  She was their second living child and oldest daughter. She was baptized at Sts Peter and Paul Church in Dromersheim the next day.

Baptismal Font - Sts Peter and Paul Catholic Church, Dromersheim Germany

In early 1852, when she was about 9 years old, she and her family left Dromersheim and started their very long journey to America.  They made their way to England where they boarded the ship, Northumberland, bound for the US. The Schmitt family arrived at Castle Garden in New York City on 1 April 1952.  From there they made their way to Kickapoo, Illinois where other families from Dromersheim were living.

It was in Kickapoo that she met another immigrant from Germany, Frank Stenger.  They were married on 26 January 1862 there.  Their farm was south of town and it was here that they raised their 9 children.  Today the property is at the northeast corner of the Kickapoo exit off of Interstate 74.

Frank and Anna Maria Schmitt Family
Back row - Joseph L, Elizabeth, Henry, Barbara, Michael, Anna, Frank Jr.
Front row - Jacob, Frank, Sr., Anna Maria, Julia
From the Arlene (Stenger) Callear collection.

Anna Maria watched three of her children move to Nebraska in the 1890s to live and raise their families.  That must have been very difficult. The Nebraska family did come back to Kickapoo from time to time for visits. Frank and Anna continued to live on their farm until the end of their days.  Their son, Henry, took over the day-to-day running of their family business and he and his wife Emma and their children lived in the home with Anna Maria and Frank.

Frank and Anna Maria (Schmitt) Stenger home
L-R: Anna (Stenger) Volz, Anna Maria (Schmitt) Stenger, Frank Stenger, Joseph L Stenger
From the Arlene (Stenger) Callear collection.

Anna Maria died on 10 May 1910 from an abdominal aortic aneurysm.  She is buried next to her husband in the churchyard cemetery of St Patrick's Catholic Church in Kickapoo, IL.

St Patrick's churchyard in Kickapoo, Illinois

Memorial window in St Mary's Catholic Church, Kickapoo, IL for Frank and Anna Maria (Schmitt) Stenger

Copyright 2019 - All rights reserved.  Do not use photos or narrative without the express consent of the author.

Joseph L Stenger – Kickapoo, Illinois

My great grandfather, Joseph L Stenger turned 138 on August 25, 2016. (1) I only have very faint memories of him as he died when I was just four years old.  My maternal grandmother would take me with her to visit him in the nursing home and I would share my candy with him.  Wonder if he remembers that too?

He was born in a farm just south of Kickapoo, Illinois to Frank and Anna Maria Schmitt Stenger. (1)  He was a first generation immigrant whose parents had both come to the United States from Germany separately as children.  Joe was their eighth of nine children and their youngest son.  He would have grown up with not just his siblings but many cousins as well.  The Stenger and Schmitt families in Kickapoo were prolific and he would have found his school and church filled with many close and extended family members.

Figure 1 - Joseph L Stenger - First Communion

Lucy Loescher would have moved to Kickapoo from Peoria, Illinois with her parents in 1886 when Joseph L was about seven years old.  She was an infant at the time of her arrival in town.  Lucy’s parents ran several businesses in the area.  They both would have attended church and school at St Mary’s in Kickapoo so they certainly knew each other and their families well. 

Joe and Lucy married at St Mary’s Church in Kickapoo on 23 May 1905. (2) This was a “double ring” ceremony as Lucy’s older sister Mame married Bernard “Ben” Heinz on the same day.  In many families, the youngest son would normally be looking for a job or farm to live on away from their parents.  The older sons in the family tended to take on their father’s farms.  But in the Frank Stenger family, the older boys made their homes away from Kickapoo.  The oldest son went to Mendota, Illinois and then two others (along with a sister and brother in law) moved to Platte County, Nebraska in the 1890’s.

Figure 2 - Left to Right - Lucy Loescher, Joseph L Stenger, Mame Loescher, Bernard "Ben" Heinz on their wedding day

Joe’s remaining local brother Henry and his wife Emma took over their father’s farm while Joe and Lucy made their home just down the lane.  Today this is on the north side of the Kickapoo-Edwards exit on Interstate 74 in Illinois.  Lucy had seven children and one still born infant – Frank, Monica, Mary, Clementine, Joseph S, Rose and Florence.  Joe and Lucy’s children would walk to school about a mile each way into Kickapoo along with their Henry Stenger cousins.  It must have been wonderful when the weather was nice but the winters would have been hard.

Joe was not yet middle age by the time that both of his parents had died.  He was 32 years old when his mother died in 1910 and 40 when his father passed in 1918.  But, his mother-in-law, Rose Nufer Loescher was still going strong!  She was a seemingly larger than life figure in Kickapoo and especially in the lives of her children and grandchildren.  (See the end of this article for links to related blog posts about the Loeschers.)  In 1927 Rose Loescher had a will drawn up for herself.  There is nothing unusual about that as she had quite a bit of property and personal effects that would need to be disposed of when she died.  What is unusual I think is who she named to manage her estate and be responsible for the probate process.  Rose had eight children.  Her oldest and only son, Frank A Loescher would have been the natural choice as her executor.  But she went down a different path.  Her will names two executors – her son Frank A and her son-in-law, Joseph L Stenger (3). 

This designation is interesting to me in a couple of ways.  First there is the issue of a mother publicly indicating in her will that her oldest and only son was likely not up to the task of settling his mother’s estate without help.  But given that she felt the need to provide some assistance to her son in the role of executor why did Rose select Joe Stenger?  She had six son-in-laws at the time she drafted her will.  (One son-in-law was deceased.)  Joe Stenger was not the son-in-law with the most money or property nor did he live the closest to Rose.  Maybe he got along the best with Frank A?  Maybe it was done because her son lived in Peoria and Joe was local?  Or, maybe Joe was the son-in-law she had the most trust in.  Isn’t that a highly valued trait when looking for an executor of your will?  Or maybe….it was all of these factors.

I asked my great aunt (daughter of Joe and Lucy) about why her father would have been named as executor in his mother-in-law’s will.  Aunt “F” was not surprised to hear about this.  She indicated that Joe and Lucy were both very close to Rose and that Rose relied on them and trusted them in many things.  When Rose passed in 1938 Joe would have spent many hours in court proceedings, managing the businesses Rose had at the time of her death (including a farm) and selling her property.  This would not have been easy given he had his own farm to tend to and family to feed.

What of Joe’s relationship with his own siblings especially after his parents had passed? His next oldest brother Henry lived very close by and the two families would have seen a good deal of each other as they went about working on their respective farms and through school and church.  The oldest Stenger brother, Jacob, made his life in Mendota, Illinois and would come to visit periodically.  But four of the Stenger siblings went to Nebraska at various times in the 1890’s and raised their families on the Great Plains. 

No doubt there was a great deal of correspondence that went back and forth between Kickapoo and the various Nebraska counties that the Stenger siblings settled in.  But we also know they visited.  We know that the Nebraska siblings and their children made trips back to Kickapoo and later on when automobile travel became common we see the Kickapoo family visiting in Nebraska also.  Yes….Joe and Lucy actually made it out of the state of Illinois to visit Stenger family in Nebraska.  My mom recalls that Joe and Lucy would have family gathers which included the Peoria County based siblings of Joe’s also.  The Svymbersky’s of Peoria and the Schlink’s and Volz’s no doubt were in attendance.

My mother remembers that her grandfather made wine.  I assume this is a skill that Joe would have learned growing up from him immigrant parents.  We can suppose that the knowledge for this must have come over with his parents from Germany.  On special occasions Joe would bring out his small tray of small classes with his latest batch of wine for his guests to sample.

In May 1955, Joe and Lucy celebrated their 50^th wedding anniversary.  Mame and Ben Heinz were also both alive and a very large and multi-day celebration took place at Silver Lead just east of Kickapoo for this “double” anniversary party.  My mother recalls that there was a lot of preparation for this big event and that it was the talk of the family for some time to come.

Figure 3- Lucy and Joseph L Stenger - 50th Wedding Anniversary

Eventually, Joe and Lucy decided it was time to retire from the farm and move into Kickapoo.  They sold their farm as none of their children were interested in working it.  They moved to a very small house just down the street from the Loescher saloon (where Lucy grew up).  There was a kitchen, living room, two bedrooms and a small basement.  Although not very big that did not stop them from hosting family gatherings.  There was a long table in the basement for the men to eat and the kids would find spots where ever they could find room.  The women would eat in the kitchen and living room after everyone else had been tended to.

Their retirement years were no doubt lean (as their young family life had been) but they always seemed to get by.  In the early 1960’s Joe had a stroke and although Lucy tried to care for him at home it was just to much.  He spent his last few years in a nursing home in Peoria.  Joe died on 31 December 1966 and is buried in St Patrick’s Cemetery in Kickapoo just a few yards away from his parents and grandparents. (4)  He was a kind and gentle spirit that lives on today in his remaining daughters.  We recently had a family reunion in Kickapoo of the descendants of Joe and Lucy Loescher Stenger and it is obvious that Joe’s gentle spirit lives on in them as well.

Copyright ©2016 – Diane Minor – All Rights Reserved.

Related Posts - 

Frank A Loescher

The Loescher Saloon

Rose Loescher - The Mystery of Her Birth

_____________________________________

(1) Baptismal Register of St. Mary's Church, Kickapoo, Illinois, digital image, (Peora, Illinois:  Catholic Diocese of Peoria), 15 Sep 1878, "Lawrence Joseph Stenger".

(2) Peoria County, Illinois, marriage certificate, Joseph L Stenger and Lucy Loescher, 23 May 1905, Peoria County Clerk, Peoria.

(3) Peoria County Circuit Court, Peoria County, Illinois, probate file no. J788, Rose Loescher; Peoria County Circuit Clerk.

(4) Peoria County, Illinois, death certificate no. 93688 (31 Dec 1966), Joseph L Stenger, Peoria County Clerk, Peoria.

Saturday Night Genealogy Fun – Male Ancestors Age at Death

Randy Seaver in his Genea-Musings blog posts a weekly challenge for digging deeper into our family history.

This week’s post is about analyzing our male ancestors and their age at their deaths.  The link to his post is : http://www.geneamusings.com/2016/08/saturday-night-genealogy-fun-male.html  . 

Here’s my analysis.  I have used the ahnentafel numbering in this list.

Father -

2.  Father – I am blessed to still have my father .

Grandfathers -

4.  W. Minor – 88 years

6.  Robert T Miars – (1915 – 1999) 84 years.  He missed the millennial celebrations by just a couple of weeks which is something he was really wanting to see.

Great Grandfathers -

8.  John R Minor – (1880 – 1937) 57 years.

10. R. K. Fristoe – (1892 – 1965) 73 years.

12.  Frank Miars – (1870 – 1932) 61 years.

14.  Joseph L Stenger  - (1878 – 1966) 88 years.

2^nd Great Grandfathers -

16.  Francis Grant Minor – (1852 – 1918) 65 years.

18.  William Dempsey – (1842 – 1911) 68 years.

20.  J C Fristoe – (1852 – 1927) 73 years.

22.  G W Craft – (1855 – 1939) 84 years.

24.  William Miars – (1943 – 1916) 73 years.

26.  Thompson J Saltonstall – (1848 - ??) Death date unknown.  This is one of my brickwalls!!

28.  Frank Stenger – (1837 – 1918) 81 years.

30.  Francoise Loescher – (1848 – 1902) 53 years.

3^rd Great Grandfathers -

32.  John Minor – (1819 – 1885) 65 years.

34.  Ewald Pruschwitz – (?? - ??) Unknown.

36.  Peter Dempsey – (1800 - ??) Unknown.

38.  John G Kellar – (1791 – 1849) 58 years.

40.  _____ Fristoe – Unknown.

42.  _____ Craft – Unknown.

44. Martin Miars – (1801 – 1885) 84 years.

50. Amos Hodgson – (1810 – 1866) 56 years.

52.  Alexander Hamilton Saltonstall – (1817 – 1856) 39 years.

54.  Peter Ringenberger – (1810 – 1892) 82 years.

56.  Franz Stenger – (1806 – 1890) 84 years.

58.  Jakob Schmitt – (1806 – 1883) 76 years.

60. Antoine Loescher – (1815 - ??) Unknown.

62. Martin Nufer – (1823 – 1873) 76 years.

In the four generations (grandfathers through 3^rd great grandfathers), the average age is 71.3 years old at the time of death.  There is a tie for oldest as my paternal grandfather was 88 when he died and my great – grandfather Joseph L Stenger was as well.  The youngest at their death was a 3^rd great grandfather, Alexander Hamilton Saltonstall who died at 39 years.  I do not know the whole story on his early death.  More research is needed here.

Copyright ©2016 – Diane Minor – All Rights Reserved.